All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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