what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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