you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
