Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
