made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
