how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
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I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
