I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
