i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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