I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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