The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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