12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
