i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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