When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
