Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
