Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize