i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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