Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
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You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
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PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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