I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
