I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
