He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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