Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
im drinking this country out of the recession.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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