I just pynch a tree in the face
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize