If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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