Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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