Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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