Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Randomize
