Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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