Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
