Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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