he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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