whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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