I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
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for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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