Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
