I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
