so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
