I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
