She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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