Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
