Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize