There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
