come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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