the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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