Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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