the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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