Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize