we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i think i have herpe
just one?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
