when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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