Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize