Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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