I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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