they need to just BURY HIM!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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