so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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