When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize