I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
