You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
