i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize