I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
